REJOICING

I am Lyme free.

Just typing that feels so surreal. Everything about today seems like it happened to someone else. Was that me waking up to the day, full of energy? Was that me, drinking a latte for the first time in a year? Was that really me, walking into my specialist's office with nothing to say other than, "Hey, I actually feel pretty good"?

Yes, it was. That was me.

I am Lyme free.

This journey towards health has been such a huge part of my life, and I know it isn't over. I will always be taking care of my delicate self, always asking if I actually have the energy for something, always watching what I eat. Three years of fighting Lyme has marked me in ways I am still discovering.

Nicole and I hugged so much today, and I couldn't believe that I don't need to see her for six months. I can't believe this part of my life is, in one way, coming to a close. What do I say at the end of a journey? What can I say to help you understand how absolutely monumental this all is?

Thank you.

Thank you, God, for never leaving, for putting me in a place I never would have picked for myself. It was the right place, even though I didn't really believe it at the beginning.

Thank you, family (Mom, Dad, Elise, Grace, Adam, Roz, and Grandma) for loving me despite my frequent struggles with self-absorption and long emotional outbursts. Thank you for sticking by me in the really dark times of the past six years. Thank you for reminding me who I really am and that I belong to God, not to an illness. You have all shown me what kindness and forgiveness can do for a person: they can heal.

Thank you, Nette and Jewel, for loving me from far away. It is impossible to tell you how much it meant that you stuck by me with phone calls, letters, care packages, and silly videos over the last few years. Thank you for showing me what grace and love look like in real life. Thank you for listening to me talk about my symptoms over and over. Thank you for believing that I could get better, even when I felt like it would never happen. I can't say how much I appreciate the two of you.

Thank you, Lyme Warriors (Martha, Charity, Carissa, my sisters, all the women on Healing With Hope) for fighting this fight with me, for sharing your stories, and for letting me share mine. God is not done with us yet, and we sure as heck aren't done fighting for health. I salute you!

Thank you every other friend, PQQ relative, and college buddy (too many to name!) who has reached out to me and offered encouragement. There have been so many times when I felt like giving up, and I am so thankful for each bit of hope that you all sent my way. I hope and pray that I can do that same for you.

THANK YOU NICOLE AND SALVEO!!!! You have been a place of refuge and care over the past two years. I was such a crazy mess of a human when I came to you, and really didn't think it would ever end....but it did, because of you. I have learned so much from you about health, about self-care, and about the magical things turmeric can do for a girl. I am so thankful for your commitment to excellence, your respect for my life, and the ways in which you have helped my sisters and I heal from Lyme. Because of you, the world is becoming a lot less frightening for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am Lyme free. The woman looking back at me in the window's reflection is someone I know, but am also not entirely familiar with, mostly because she looks so healthy. And there's something else in her eyes: hopefulness.

Here's to health!