Palmtree Contemplations

The river I cross in the woods, Heart thudding, legs kicking, Is wider than my tired soul        may take me. Be the love that guides me onward, The faith I find among the trees. The trail I follow through this desert Chest aching, feet stumbling, Is longer than all my quick wits         may endure. Be the will that sends me forward, The hope I doubt but say is sure. The safehold I seek on the cliffs , Lungs heaving, arms straining, Is further than all my strength          may bear me, Be the grace that pulls me upward, The truth I know yet cannot see.

I had another meeting with my specialist, and while we both agree that there are still a lot of things wrong with me (Gu, I am looking at you) I am definitely improving all around. We are doubling a dosage of a specific supplement, which means the next couple of weeks will probably be rough. But then, again, none of this is predictable, so maybe I'll be super energetic all the time. After my meeting with her, I came home and had two incredible days. There have been many times in this journey with Lyme when I have wondered what is wrong with my brain. Why can't I remember things? Why is it so hard to move from one task to another? Why do I sometimes feel as though it is impossible for me to think beyond the next few days, or even the next few hours? Lyme has shrunk my ability to think clearly. Lately, though, I keep having these days of clarity and quick thinking. The other night, I marveled at how I could be thinking about making dinner, the book I was reading, what I shoul