The Eharmony Incident
Thump thump. Someone is knocking at my door. My housemate, Lisa, pokes her head into my room.
"Hey Rachie," she says. "Do you want to do what that one girl did?"
"Do what?"
"You know," Lisa giggles. "Join Eharmony."
One of my close friends recently joined the website, and has been talking to me about it. I've always thought online dating was a little crazy. And yet, it is a slow evening, nothing going on, nothing at all.... I pat the bed beside me. "Let's do it!"
And so we do. We opt for the free version, and both post very nice pictures of ourselves. Then we tackle the questions. There are a lot. We constantly confer with one another about these queries.
"What do people notice about me first?" I ask.
"Your eyes, and your smile, and your quirky jokes," Lisa tells me. "What do people notice about me?"
"Your hair, your beautiful smile, how tall you are, your singing voice, just everything," I say. A moment of typing follows. "What do I want in a man?" I ask.
"Hmmmm," Lisa says.
Answering Eharmony questions proves to be rather addicting. One click just will not do. The questions and topics are seemingly endless: what books do I like? What music do I like? What do I do on my days off? What three things can I not live without? After a couple of hours, I have 8 matches. Lisa and I peruse them with interest, even going so far as to Facebook stalk a few of them based on their first name and address. (I will not divulge our impressions here) We stay up late talking about our matches, giggling over our impetuosity, and wondering what these guys are like in real life.
The next morning arrives. I have 5 Quick Questions in my Eharmony message box. I am nervous, and a little confused. Is my profile even that good? Probably not. Is this guy just really desperate? I fill out my answers to the questions. An hour and a half later, the first guy has responded to my response, and two more men have sent me questions. Gosh, is my profile that good? Am I actually desirable to the opposite sex? The attention is nice, partly because it comes from people I have never met and have no dealings with other than this online questionnaire. On the other hand, though, it's a little scary, mostly because of the previous reason: I have never met them.
I'm not someone who likes to judge people who meet on online dating websites. Admittedly, I'm a bit old fashioned and I'd prefer if I met someone the regular way. But then I stop to ask myself, "Is there a regular way anymore?" I'm not really sure.
I used to judge people who got on dating websites because it sounded desperate to me. "What, you couldn't meet a man in REAL life?" I wanted to ask. Now that I'm out of college, though, I can see the appeal. These are people who are serious about getting to know someone, and eventually finding their spouse. That's not wrong, and in a day and age where it's hard to meet single people, it actually is nice that there is a place to do that.
The question facing me is: am I one of those people? Do I really want to meet someone right now?
My younger sister recently got married, and by "recently" I mean less than a month ago. I remember in the days leading up to the wedding, I kept wondering about how it would affect me. Emotions always run high during weddings, and this was one I helped to plan and bring about successfully. In the back of my mind, I kept asking, "Will seeing these two people get married make me want that for myself?"
The wedding ceremony came off perfectly, which I didn't think could happen at any wedding. It did, though. My sister was a beautiful and eloquent bride, reading her vows with a strong voice and a smile. In return, her groom declared his undying love and promised to serve God and love her faithfully. At the reception, I watched from the wedding party's table as they danced their first dance. The song was slow, the lights were dimmed, and the two people on the dance floor only cared about each other. I had thought that watching this romantic moment would make me cry, make me want what they have together, and make me dissatisfied with my life. It did not. Instead, I felt a sense of peace, a contentment with being single and not "with someone." It was an unexpected gift from God. I told Him, "Okay, I can wait to get married for a while longer." And I really can. After catching my sister's bouquet later that night, I literally turned around to hand it off to someone else
I think about this as I look at all the matches on my Eharmony account. Honestly, some of them sound like really nice guys. Some of them also sound a little desperate. Regardless, I know that I don't belong on this site, so I click on my Settings menu and delete my account.
The Eharmony Incident has lasted less than two days. Yes, all the giggling was fun, and reading about what all my matches wanted in spouse was inspiring (and a little confusing, in some cases). It would be wrong to lead these men on, though, as I am hardly someone who is looking for a boyfriend right now. While this Eharmony Incident may have been short lived, the lesson is not. Right now, God has me where He wants me, and I can trust Him with that.
"Hey Rachie," she says. "Do you want to do what that one girl did?"
"Do what?"
"You know," Lisa giggles. "Join Eharmony."
One of my close friends recently joined the website, and has been talking to me about it. I've always thought online dating was a little crazy. And yet, it is a slow evening, nothing going on, nothing at all.... I pat the bed beside me. "Let's do it!"
And so we do. We opt for the free version, and both post very nice pictures of ourselves. Then we tackle the questions. There are a lot. We constantly confer with one another about these queries.
"What do people notice about me first?" I ask.
"Your eyes, and your smile, and your quirky jokes," Lisa tells me. "What do people notice about me?"
"Your hair, your beautiful smile, how tall you are, your singing voice, just everything," I say. A moment of typing follows. "What do I want in a man?" I ask.
"Hmmmm," Lisa says.
Answering Eharmony questions proves to be rather addicting. One click just will not do. The questions and topics are seemingly endless: what books do I like? What music do I like? What do I do on my days off? What three things can I not live without? After a couple of hours, I have 8 matches. Lisa and I peruse them with interest, even going so far as to Facebook stalk a few of them based on their first name and address. (I will not divulge our impressions here) We stay up late talking about our matches, giggling over our impetuosity, and wondering what these guys are like in real life.
The next morning arrives. I have 5 Quick Questions in my Eharmony message box. I am nervous, and a little confused. Is my profile even that good? Probably not. Is this guy just really desperate? I fill out my answers to the questions. An hour and a half later, the first guy has responded to my response, and two more men have sent me questions. Gosh, is my profile that good? Am I actually desirable to the opposite sex? The attention is nice, partly because it comes from people I have never met and have no dealings with other than this online questionnaire. On the other hand, though, it's a little scary, mostly because of the previous reason: I have never met them.
I'm not someone who likes to judge people who meet on online dating websites. Admittedly, I'm a bit old fashioned and I'd prefer if I met someone the regular way. But then I stop to ask myself, "Is there a regular way anymore?" I'm not really sure.
I used to judge people who got on dating websites because it sounded desperate to me. "What, you couldn't meet a man in REAL life?" I wanted to ask. Now that I'm out of college, though, I can see the appeal. These are people who are serious about getting to know someone, and eventually finding their spouse. That's not wrong, and in a day and age where it's hard to meet single people, it actually is nice that there is a place to do that.
The question facing me is: am I one of those people? Do I really want to meet someone right now?
My younger sister recently got married, and by "recently" I mean less than a month ago. I remember in the days leading up to the wedding, I kept wondering about how it would affect me. Emotions always run high during weddings, and this was one I helped to plan and bring about successfully. In the back of my mind, I kept asking, "Will seeing these two people get married make me want that for myself?"
The wedding ceremony came off perfectly, which I didn't think could happen at any wedding. It did, though. My sister was a beautiful and eloquent bride, reading her vows with a strong voice and a smile. In return, her groom declared his undying love and promised to serve God and love her faithfully. At the reception, I watched from the wedding party's table as they danced their first dance. The song was slow, the lights were dimmed, and the two people on the dance floor only cared about each other. I had thought that watching this romantic moment would make me cry, make me want what they have together, and make me dissatisfied with my life. It did not. Instead, I felt a sense of peace, a contentment with being single and not "with someone." It was an unexpected gift from God. I told Him, "Okay, I can wait to get married for a while longer." And I really can. After catching my sister's bouquet later that night, I literally turned around to hand it off to someone else
I think about this as I look at all the matches on my Eharmony account. Honestly, some of them sound like really nice guys. Some of them also sound a little desperate. Regardless, I know that I don't belong on this site, so I click on my Settings menu and delete my account.
The Eharmony Incident has lasted less than two days. Yes, all the giggling was fun, and reading about what all my matches wanted in spouse was inspiring (and a little confusing, in some cases). It would be wrong to lead these men on, though, as I am hardly someone who is looking for a boyfriend right now. While this Eharmony Incident may have been short lived, the lesson is not. Right now, God has me where He wants me, and I can trust Him with that.
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